Held
Jarid just returned from Montana. As he says, it was a trip “for all the wrong reasons.” He was there attending the memorial service of his best friend’s mom, Phyllis Kessler. This was a family he spent a lot of time with during his high school years, a family that had (has) a great impact on him in many ways. Definitely a shock to get this kind of news.
As soon as we received that phone call from Konrad on Monday morning, a slew of songs began streaming through my mind (as usual). But one song in particular kept coming back to me. It’s a song performed by Natalie Grant called “Held”.
“Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays is appalling.”
Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens to us who have died to live.
It’s unfair.
Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive.
This is what it is to be loved, and to know that the promise was when everything fell we’d be held.
This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrows.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.
(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive.
This is what it is to be loved, and to know that the promise was when everything fell we’d be held.
Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering, if this is only the beginning,
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?“
Click here to watch/listen.
As I read the obituary and the guest book comments, and listened to Jarid talk about spending time with the Kesslers growing up, and then to him describe the memorial service, another song popped into my head. One of my favorite songs, with words I can only pray to achieve, is “Legacy” performed by Nichole Nordeman.
“I want to leave a legacy.
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering,
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically,
and leave that kind of legacy.”
I’m sure if you talk to any person who knew this dear woman, they would whole-heartedly agree that Phyllis has left a Legacy. She has most definitely heard “Well done, good and faithful one!” in the presence of Jesus.
The Responsibility of Prayer
in Jarid’s words…
In the past couple of years, I have nearly lost my father on two separate occasions due to motorcycle accidents. You never really know how you will react when that kind of thing happens. I had the opportunity to test myself twice in the area of family tragedy. It was interesting to learn the dynamics of that situation. I can’t really share any wisdom with you, because it will not be the same for you. For me, my role was emotional stability. I realized quickly that my father needed me, my mother needed me, and my sister needed me. They all relied on me in different ways, but my gift was in being the stability that was needed by my family at the time. My role was not more or less important than those that were filled by other family members. Instead, God seemed to orchestrate every facial expression and every spoken word. Every minute detail was in His control. Without faith, it would be easy to see how emotions could completely destroy a family under similar circumstances.
Now I find myself in what is even a more difficult situation. My best friend was put in an impossible position when his mother tragically died last weekend. I don’t know how to comfort him. I don’t think there are words that could possibly help. To some extent, I wish it was me in this position instead of him. I felt a sense of duty when it was my father on a hospital bed. I felt completely comforted and assured by the prayers of those around me. I only hope that he is feeling the presence of God the way that I did. Today, I realize my responsibility in this event. It’s a responsibility that seems too easy. Yet, I find it more difficult to fulfill this responsibility. It’s my duty to pray.
When it was me going through a difficult time, I know that he was in prayer for my whole family. I know that he prayed for us individually, by name, and for specific reasons. Now I must not overlook something as simple as this in return. So I pray; individually, by name, and for specific reasons. I pray that he sees God in every facial expression, and in every spoken word. I pray that he will be able to look back on these days and comment on how God seemed to orchestrate every moment. I know that this day was in God’s plan, and that today his mother is intimately familiar with the loving arms of Jesus. This family made an eternal impact on me, and even the rest of my family. This family forever affected the way that I live and love my wife and my children. I pray that they take comfort as this phrase echoes in heaven; “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
Monday Madness
Not a whole lot happening today.
1. We converted over the weekend. Decided to worship the porcelain gods instead. Okay, but really, we all got sick. Kaiya got it first, throwing up massive amounts of food…and then it started coming out the other end. We thought it was just because she’s stubborn and won’t use the toilet. Well, Sunday morning, we all came down with it. Today, we’re just laying around. Jarid went to work, but I don’t know how he can even do it. I’m so weak, I even have to take a break from typing!
2. On a sad note, we got a call this morning that Jarid’s best friend’s mom passed away yesterday in a waterskiing accident. Please keep Konrad Kessler and his family in your prayers.
3. First week of work at the new branch was good. Exhausting though, as I’m learning so many new things. Really, the only change in job description is that they took away a portion of it, the money handling. Since my old branch was quite a bit slower, I was never able to get experience with a lot of the products/procedures. I’m picking up a lot of it pretty quickly, so I’m sure it will be fine.
I think that’s all I can manage right now. Gotta go lay on the couch again…and watch Handy Manny and Little Einsteins for the 40th time.
**WARNING: Proud mommy moment ahead**
To most moms, what I’m about to tell you might not be a big deal. Actually, I’m sure it’s not a big deal at all. But to this momma, it is a big deal.
So, as overheard in the Sinkler house in the past two weeks:
“Mommy, Tiger Woods doesn’t swim, he’s a golfer!”
“Mommy, I’m just going to go around this way so I don’t accidentally spill my water.”
“Okay, mommy.” (Without arguing, I might add!)
I could continue with many more, but you’re probably bored out of your mind. Those statements in and of themselves aren’t that big of a deal. But when you consider the complexity and thought required of a four and a half year old to make those statements, it’s a bigger deal. When you consider that four months ago, we were dealing with pretty severe behavior and discipline issues. Obedience was a struggle, at best.
The days of unexplainable temper tantrums and outbursts are becoming few and further between. The super-silly faces and behavior aren’t all-day issues to deal with. The aggression continues to decline. There aren’t so many questions about random obscure objects (“what’s that?”) as there are questions about how things work (“why?”). The crazy dance and crazy look is rarer than ever.
Again, I know this doesn’t mean much to many of you. Even those of you who know us pretty well might not understand how big of a deal this is. There is no way for me to put into words the progress we’ve seen with Benjamin. Sure, things aren’t perfect. We still have some discipline issues and some behavioral issues. Some of it is breaking bad habits and learned behaviors. But honestly, there is no way to explain how this diet has changed our family.
When you consider that in March of this year, I was almost ready to give up, give in, lose my mind…
And now, my heart is bursting with pride for this dude. Really.
Monday Madness
Not too much going on right now.
1. My last day at my old branch was Saturday. I start at my new branch on Tuesday and I’m really excited. It’s a little scary because I’ll definitely be out of my comfort zone while I get to know my new coworkers and management. I’m just praying that the Lord will give me opportunities to show His love, and give me the strength to do it!
2. We’ve been supplementing Ben’s diet with vitamin A (cod liver oil) and I really am seeing even more improvement. Essentially, vitamin A helps heal his digestive tract and mucous membranes. That, in turn, facilitates better nutrient absorption and may eventually help break down those pesky proteins that wreak havoc on his immune system. Very few people know about the benefits of vitamin A, particularly in reference to supplementing a gluten/casein free diet. Likewise, very few people know that vitamin A is a great defense if you feel a cold coming on. If you ever want to try it, make sure you are getting pure fish liver oil, not a palmitate.
3. I’m happy to report that we are more than half way through the month and we’ve got just under half of the money left in our grocery budget. That even includes the pizza we ordered in when Jarid’s sister and her husband came over on Saturday. I’m going grocery shopping this afternoon, so we’ll see what’s left when I get back.
4. In the search for a missing set of screws, Jarid informed me of a new addition to our house. Of the eight-legged variety. Of the red-hourglass-on-the-stomach variety. It’s in a box in the garage. Stellar.
Kinda Puts Things Into Perspective…
There are times when I’ve been tempted to wallow in self-pity over the last few months. It’s hard to imagine having to cater to a special diet for the rest of my life. It’s hard to deal with the stigmas attached to that diet. It’s hard to explain to everyone why we are doing it, especially without any supervision from a doctor.
But while I was pouting about a diet, she was facing a life-threatening disease.
While I was irritated at the stigmas of a diet, she was imagining the looks she’ll get when she loses her hair.
While I was tired of explaining our reasoning to everyone, she was in surgery, having both breasts removed.
Yep, while I was wallowing in self-pity, she was getting ready to tackle breast cancer. At age 34.
Kinda puts it all into perspective.
Kirsten is a wonderful gal I worked with when I first started my job. We kept in touch when she moved on to another job, and I even housesat for her when we were still living with Jarid’s parents. She has said she is an open book and wants to share her story, so visit www.kirstendebie.blogspot.com to read her story.
Please keep her and Eric and Aidan in your prayers.
Kirsten, you are amazing.
Dream Town, Part 2
If Sunset Magazine says so, it must be true. Number 4, baby!!!
Just to be sure, in case you missed the first one, click here.
Monday Madness
Not much to report this week.
1. I have discovered forgotten what an Olympic addict I am. Since they started a few days ago, the tv stays on those channels. I’m really not sure what it is about the games that is so addicting to me, but I love watching and cheering. I suppose most of it is just that I am super-patriotic and the Olympic games evoke such a spirit of patriotism. No matter which sport it is, if the USA wins gold, you can expect to see me glued to the tv during the medal ceremony, typically with tears in my eyes. And, even though it won’t be shown on tv, we have a friend participating in the Olympics. Jamie is the girlfriend of one of Jarid’s best friends from high school and she is on the USA Shooting team. Yay Jamie!!
2. We went to the zoo this morning. We got there at 7:30 this morning and by 8:00, we were all a bit sticky. Since it’s hot, there isn’t much excitment amongst the animals. That makes for pretty bored kiddos, which translates into a short visit. It wasn’t a wasted trip though…kids got to feed some birds, play in the treehouse play area, ride the carousel, and Benjamin got another bloody nose!
3. This is my last week before my transfer at work. Even though I can’t wait to get out of there, it’s heavy on my heart that I need to continue to show grace through to the end. Long story, but it’s not a fun place to work right now. So that is my prayer this week, grace.
4. In addition to the Olympics, I’ve been closely following the progress of Steven Curtis Chapman and his family as they deal with their recent tragedy. If you want a glimpse of God’s love, grace, and mercy in action, these are the people to watch. Last week, Good Morning America aired their interview with the Chapman family and a few days later, CNN aired their interview with Larry King (be sure to watch all six clips). Grab your kleenex before you watch. I enjoyed the Larry King Live piece more, because it actually was live, and therefore, more candid. They were not able to edit out Jesus’ name, unlike the GMA piece. Be watching for the People Magazine spread featuring the Chapmans. I cannot even begin to fathom their pain, but it is amazing to see how God is using this to advance His kingdom.
Much love…
Monday Madness
Not much today. I’m pretty unmotivated.
1. I’m still sick.
2. It’s still hot.
3. I’ve been trying to limit the time I spend on the computer. I’ve been doing fairly well, excpet that there has been no increase in productivity since I’ve been sick.
4. The countdown has begun for my transfer date. Honestly, I can’t wait. I work with almost all girls, and it’s pretty catty. I don’t do catty very well.
5. I am continually amazed at Benjamin’s progress. Some days it’s a question he’ll ask, some days it’s his behavior with Kaiya, some days it’s the “ah-ha” moments you can see in his eyes. That’s motivating.
6. Jarid gave me a budget to follow. On paper, I’ve had a budget for a while, but now we are actually going to follow it. The biggest challenge is the grocery budget. Eating gluten/casein free, as well as mostly organic and wanting to go toward sustainable, is not cheap. I think the budget he gave me, fairly, is probably $200 less than what I’ve actually been spending. I’m up for the challenge. At least he’s helping me!
7. My hands are mostly healed. You’ll know what I’m talking about if you read my previous post.
Curiosity Killed the Cat
Yeah, so, this weekend, my curiosity and slight obsession got the best of me. I became intimately acquainted with desert flora.
I don’t know about you, but I didn’t realize that they call it a PRICKLY pear cactus because it’s PRICKLY. No seriously, it didn’t enter my mind as I grabbed the blossom off of a large prickly pear to get a closer look. Apparently the initial pain was blocked by my euphoria over such a beautiful find, and the subsequent thought of planting it in my yard. I was eventually yanked back to reality by the screaming in my head as my hands began to sting. At first, I thought maybe it was an allergic reaction or maybe that they are poisonous to the touch. Upon closer inspection, however, I found that hundreds of tiny “hairs” were lodged in my hands. Both hands.
Oh, I forgot to mention that this happened after work on Saturday night. I still had to drive home. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I was driving the car with the standard transmission. Oh, and it wasn’t just my husband waiting at home for me. I had to face Jarid’s sister and her husband as well.
Let’s just say everyone had a blast watching me wait for the glue to dry. Yeah, besides duct tape, peeling off dried glue is one of the best ways to get rid of the little hairs.
(the little black dots on the blossom are where the hairs are…otherwise, it IS smooth!)
Oh, and I put the blossom in my purse. Before I realized what had happened. I haven’t had the energy to “decontaminate” my purse yet. But no worries, Jarid kindly placed caution tape around it so I’d remember.
Hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself, you have problems.
And let the comments begin….
