The end of an era?

February 16, 2009 at 4:08 pm (*)

Things are changing around here.  Some might say it’s the end of an era.  The end of a slightly obsessed era.

Okay, okay.  I’m just kidding myself if I think it will end that easily.

But seriously, things are changing.

When I started this blog, it seemed appropriate to give it the Slightly Obsessed title, because that’s precisely what I had become.  Slightly Obsessed.

It started with obsessing over sleep.  Benjamin didn’t sleep easily very early on.  It was rough and we would get up 10 times a night with him.  I heard about “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” and read the entire book in one night.  We put the ideas into practice and it worked.  I was so tired, but so relieved that soon everything revolved around Benjamin’s sleep schedule.  We couldn’t do many play dates because they were usually right when he needed to have his morning nap.  Any errands and lunch had to be done in the two hour window before he needed his afternoon nap.  Nothing could be done in the evening if it meant being out past 6:30, his bedtime.  And God help you if you woke my sleeping boy.

Next, it moved to obsessing over high fructose corn syrup.  After all, that stuff makes a kid hyper.  And hyper kids don’t sleep.

The HFCS obsession led to an obsession with label reading.  If high fructose corn syrup was on the label, I refused to buy it.  Oh, I was an expert.  I think I could spot it in exactly .1896 seconds.

Next we moved to sugar in general.  Then refined flour.  Absolutely none allowed in the house. The stuff is awful for you.  The more refined it is, the more it affects your blood sugar, which affects your mood.  And your sleep.  Of course those had to go!

About that time, I came to realize that I needed to lose the baby weight from Kaiya.  Thus began the whole food, wholesome cooking obsession.  Juice fasts, cleanses, the whole works.

But something still wasn’t right.  It was also around this time that I started noticing behavior issues with my little boy.

So I moved on to become obsessed with reading parenting books.  I have an entire shelf lined with parenting books.  Of course, at the top was “The Strong Willed Child”.

But no parenting book, no discipline technique could tame my child.

Still I took to the internet researching the bizarre behaviors I was noticing with Benjamin.  I would literally spend hours each day on the internet.  Google became my best friend.  I’m a genius when it comes to searching the net.

I wasn’t pleased with what I was finding, what each search kept leading me back to, but I continued.

We started the gluten/casein free diet.  And it worked.  Then we had the positive lab result, confirming our suspicions.

I believe Jarid’s exact words to me were, “It’s working, honey.  Now you can stop researching.”

Wrong.

It was working, but I felt like we kept hitting a brick wall.  So I kept researching.  I started finding that potatoes can be a problem for a child with food intolerances.  And apples.  And I needed to know how enzymes play a role in all of this.  Then I found out about yeast.  So I needed to know how to cook for a yeast-free diet.

And don’t forget that we really needed to look at the vaccine/antibiotic link.

Then we needed to figure out if Benjamin could tolerate raw milk products.  And how does raw milk differ from pasteurized milk?

Oh, and don’t forget the whole “Soy Drama” of ’07.

And all of the time spent looking for recipes.  Not just recipes for meals, but recipes for homemade ingredients.

I’ll just make my own coconut milk.  I’ll just make my own almond milk.  I need to make my own cough syrup.  But I need to research the best method.

Honestly, this is such a small, skewed picture of what my life has become.  Slightly Obsessed is an understatement.  A lie, really.

I’m now addicted to the internet, addicted to researching.  Addicted to learning about how to cope with this.

And now it’s come to a crashing halt.

And I’m more happy than you could imagine.

We finally met with a doctor in Scottsdale yesterday.  She is absolutely an answer to prayer.  We spent two and a half hours in her office, most of the time spent with her asking questions and really delving into the details of Benjamin’s behavior.  She is very knowledgeable about the gut/brain connection and agreed with the direction we have gone with Ben’s diet.  She had even looked over the lab results and called the lab to discuss the test we did for him!

When we arrived, I had resigned myself to receiving a “diagnosis” and just getting on with our lives.  But by the time we had left, she had renewed our hope that we can truly recover Benjamin’s body from all of this garbage.

She gave us an action plan.  Everything she suggested was stuff I’d read about, researched, and even tried.  We knew the “what”, she gave us the “how”.  And very specific steps.

So, here’s the plan for the first few weeks: 1) add calcium (in the right form) since we don’t do milk, 2) start a very detailed and slow introduction of nystatin to kill the yeast, 3) start probiotics to repopulate his intestines with good bacteria (this probiotic will also help break down some of the harmful proteins if they slip through!!), and 4) start giving him good cod liver oil (tested for heavy metals and PCB’s).  After two weeks, we’ll do a phone appointment to see where we are.

I really cannot describe the sense of relief in being able to hand all of this over to her.  I get to stop being the doctor and start being Benjamin’s mommy.

In that regard, I’m not even sure where to start.  I’m so used to parenting from behind the computer.  Too much stuff to research to get up and play or take care of my kids.  Really.  That was my life.  I had convinced myself that I was being a better parent by “figuring it all out”.  I was on a mission.  It literally consumed every spare moment I had.

But I’m handing it over.

Maybe now I can sit at the computer and use that time to reconnect with friends.  Maybe now I can spend time playing with my kids or making forts with them or cleaning my house (nah!).  Maybe now we can look at what the real discipline issues are.  Maybe now I’ll have time to call and talk to family.  Sheesh, maybe we can even go see them! Maybe bed time won’t be such a big deal.  Maybe I can breathe a little.

Sure, I’ll still have to make sure he doesn’t eat stuff he shouldn’t eat.  I’ll still have to cook most of our meals at home (which I love doing anyway!).  And really, old habits die hard.  I’m sure this won’t be an easy transition.

But I’m letting her take over and I’m getting my life back.

It’s the end of an era.

Thank you, Lord!!!!

Advertisements

4 Comments

  1. sara kay said,

    So, so good. A process I’ve been through as well. AMEN!

  2. Uncle Arlen said,

    I am exhausted after reading your latest update. I can only imagine how you feel. All I can do is remind you that I DO pray for you often. Somehow or another, our great God is still in control. I love you! Deuteronomy 29:29

  3. Liz Taylor said,

    I’m so proud of you and all you’ve done. Good for you with the steps you’re taking now as well.

  4. KON said,

    sounds nice…maybe with all that extra time you want to come visit MN? Hope all is well with you all down south.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: